Merry Ankhetmas
Authored by Arch
30 Pachons – It was a wonderful week for disciples as they tore through the gift wrap that covered the latest holiday module with eyes warmly lit.  A most eager Gapture Jr. (Shadows) was the first disciple to encounter the Fat Heathen, who in regular intervals brandished those he met with all manner of buffs including Jubilant, Omnipotent, Hallowed, Venerated, Godlike, Lucky, Halcyon, Invisible, Fearless, Enraged, Blessed, Vengeful, Praised, and Empowered!  We were glad to see the Fat Heathen get more exercise this time around since last year he was mostly stationary. Another notable encounter, Camel Riding Menthu Ninjas, Freaked Out their opponents by slapping them with dead bunnies.  We couldn’t help but laugh at this.  In their adventures, disciples received the status effects Abraded and Jolly, the latter of which was actually reported on the Annals.  Apparently, La Soupconne (945, Monolith) came away the most Jolly this season.  We really liked how these effects stacked in duration; it would be interesting to see if The Oracles decide to incorporate this mechanic elsewhere, Auspicious Spirits come to mind.

But to find the heart of the module one had to traverse the Eastern Desert.  Much like the year before, Coptic Crooks could be used to purchase a variety of goods and services.  One’s level of Jolly, for instance, could be raised in exchange for 100 Coptic Crooks.  Players were also able to buy a Coptic Testament for a sum of 200 Coptic Crooks, an excellent option for those who did not already own one as the drop-rate of crooks was improved for the holidays.  However, it was the other two choices where disciples spent most of their hard-earned crooks: Purchase a Coptic Bauble [250] and Purchase a Suspicious Package [600].  Completing the set of different colored Coptic Baubles was no easy feat as there were a total of seven to collect with one, the Chromatic, being some notches more rare than the rest.  Disciples who found more than one of the same bauble decided to trade them for missing ones in the Ye Olde Bauble Exchange thread created by Ivan the Cat (Hem-Netjer).  Finally, those who had the moolah spent their crooks on those expensive suspicious packages in hopes of acquiring the Rite of Chuma, which caters well to disciples who desire instant gratification.

According to an anonymous poll conducted by Nightvol (Co-Nomarch of Anausa), not very many succeeded in obtaining all of the goodies that came from this mod, and some were understandably upset as a result.  But the Archives doesn’t necessarily think this is a bad thing.  The items in question were intended to be rare and just how rare would they be if everyone had them?  Chins up, disciples. Who knows we may yet get another stab at them some time in the near future!

On that note, the Archives hopes you had a Merry Ankhetmas and wish you a Happy New Year!

Year in Review
Authored by Arch
30 Pachons – Thank you for another great year of remarkable events, accomplishments, discoveries and story lines. Here’s a brief recap of events that transpired in 2011. Enjoy!

Politics and War

22 Payni
Ezio Auditore anoints to euplicitous arophram and proceeds to succumb to Ennui, shattering any hope the real Euplicitous Arophram may have had of ever reassuming his handle.

21 Epeiph
An anonymous use of Kismet on Aetos sparks a war of man versus dominion; after a bloody exchange and a loss of about 2 billion favour, Butt Monkey and Monolith eventually come to terms.

22 Epeiph
Apsinthos emerges victorious in a campaign to keep a Sovereign Staff looted from inactive disciple, Jenn; though the fight was well contested a greedy sector of the community, enticed by the promise of gold, would eventually seal Shiny Toy Gun’s fate

29 Phaophi
A returning player under the guise of Mirage fails to destroy Chuma looted from em after “cerebrally” succumbing to Ennui without first passing Adjure.

30 Phaophi
Discussion over the fate of the Resurrections Request causes relations between high-powered members of Pyrite Damsel and Shadows to deteriorate as words turn quickly into blows. Participating parties eventually come to amicable terms.

30 Phaophi
Former Nomarch of Monolith, Q, becomes only the 15th disciple to successfully Desecrate another. Despite Butt Monkey’s dreadful popularity among the masses, Q would go on to serve an Ankhet record 80 days of confinement.

30 Thoth
Sadi returns to confront his arch-nemesis about a piece of lost property. In an interesting twist, Ishmael offers to part with Sadi’s Sovereign Staff under the condition that the new owner not be one of his allies. LadyUtena, Nomarch of Hem-Netjer, eventually gets the nod, bringing a previously unforeseen peaceful end to the entire event chain.

7 Hathyr
Self-proclaimed Queen of Ankhet, Nefertiti returns after a long absence to find her dominion(s) in shambles and consequently decides to merge with Pyrite Damsel.

11 Hathyr
In their first true test of backbone fortitude, Pyrite Damsel is overwhelmed by the efforts of one man, Erebus Asmoday, who succeeds in removing all mention of Pyrite Damsel from the Annals. Nightvol, the Damsel Nomarch, elects to respond with words rather than swords, giving light to the notion that Pyrite Damsel may not be of the same hardness as the dominion they strive to emulate, Iron Maiden.

10 Choiak
Glaive employs the dark powers of desecrate to “Superdox” Mergerthor, who was known to possess Imperishable Ka thanks to a use of a then unmodified Obliterate. Glaive is, in turn, desecrated by FlamingLnfernal, a move that stuns his friends and enemies alike.

10 Tybi
Kovarian, Tamburlaine, and Adaeze scoff at allegations that their contest dubbed The Ankhet Apprentice was at all rigged. A poll would later show the community voting largely in support of the trio.

20 Tybi
Wayward forces clash with Amaranthine in a seemingly endless war of back and forth over-the-top action with Ender’s camp eventually coming out on top as their bloodied rivals go mostly inactive.

11 Pharmuthi
The record for most times (6) targeted by Desecrate passes to Lady Sylvanas, whose annoyance factor overcame not only Spam Witch but also the disciple most commonly known as Dagger.

10 Pachons
Widely suspected of being the reincarnation of Reign, Cas is held powerless in the Underworld. An outraged Blaise Sangria fights for his release but is quickly dispatched by Dr. Malefactor. Mobilizing for an all-out war against his assailant, Blaise turns to his dominion’s vault and begins to raid it for mass quantities of warring artifacts and equipment, for which he is promptly expelled from Shadows and neutralized before any true harm can be done. In negotiations, Dr. Malefactor promises to remain in the Underworld for one week and to go a period of 30 days without attacking while Blaise agrees to return the items he misappropriated from Shadows but makes no clause to protect his life. Upon completion of Blaise’s end of the bargain, Dr. Malefactor proceeds to kill himself to honor the agreement and from the depths of hell calls for the “little shit”, a.k.a. Blaise, to be killed. Indeed, moments later an ally of Malefactor would confine Blaise to the Underworld, and adding insult to injury Malefactor would leave Blaise with a piece of wisdom: “Next time, negotiate better.”

Camel Racing

24 Payni
Fornax claims speed record, wins sport’s first ever Champion Wreath

1 Hathyr
Muse breaks All-Time Fastest record held for months by mars.

Contests and Entertainment

20 Phaophi
Mafia XI: A Trail of Two Cities, hosted by dfmchfhf, concludes; Villagers prevail! Survivors: pakhet, Khunmhotep, LadyUtena, errational, Porq Cheops, Lagoticspy, MadLogician, DarkDoomLord, Ivan the Cat, Muse, Triodia, Malarthi Behemoth.

12 Choiak
Mafia XII: The Final Frontier, hosted by Nightvol, concludes with all villagers eliminated; Spark Mage is declared the winner.

30 Mecheir
Mafia XIII: Graveyard, hosted by Lagoticspy, concludes; Villagers prevail! Survivors: gashach, dfmchfhf, Ivan the Cat, Malarthi Behemoth, Spark Mage, DarkDoomLord, Claes.

26 Thoth
The task of creating amusing artistic representations of the disciples that constitute Ankhet is met with great praise as many lined up to be “Drawn Good” by Nightvol.

1 Phaophi
Nightvol receives 100 Gold Qedet courtesy of Ishmael for his efforts in producing a Kingdom of Loathing Player Drive.

12 Choiak
Famiglia Feud, hosted by Ender, concludes; Adeaze of the Gaspar Family is declared the winner. Runner-up: LadyUtena.

12 Hathyr
Grinder IV, hosted by Erebus Asmoday, concludes; dfmchfhf is declared the winner. Runner-up: grimwitch.

8 Tybi
The Apprentice, hosted by Kovarian, Tamburlaine, and Adaeze, concludes; dfmchfhf is declared the winner. Runners-up: Nightvol, em.

Special Achievements

9 Payni
A new path, Eshu, is introduced. Nightvol is first to walk it.

12 Payni
Fornax defeats the Devouring Sludge, becomes first disciple to cross the 100 level barrier.

18 Payni
Ivan the Cat discovers alternate method of reaching Lv. 105. Fornax replicates the deed, towers over the realm at Lv. 110.

19 Payni
Djet Netjer discovers first ever Wayward Scripture, gifts it to Sartori and then almost immediately discovers another.

10 Choiak
With the unveiling of the Black Sanctuary, Ivan the Cat reaches a new height for disciples, Level 115. Meanwhile Kovarian becomes first disciple to walk the highly anticipated path of Gaunub.

30 Tybi
Ender and Muse become first disciples to reach Lv. 125 after purchasing an expensive artifact that raises the cap by 10 levels.

Poll the Community
Authored by Arch

Of the disciples that managed to lead in at least one of our many tracked categories, whose efforts in 2011 have earned him or her the title of Disciple of the Year?

Recent Discoveries
La Soupconne discovered an Apep Scalemail
Muse discovered a Wayward Scripture
Muse discovered a Cabal Bangle
Ytsejam discovered a Sovereign Staff
Roffle McWaffle discovered a Cabal Bangle
errational discovered an Apep Scalemail